I Lost my Virginity to a Little Apple


It was early in the day. Lights were low. I took great care in laying out my props, making it aesthetically pleasing and yet practical. Everything had to be right. This was my first time, after all.

An hour later, after working up a good sweat, I stepped back and took it all in. It seemed right. It felt right. But nervousness clenched at my guts regardless, twisting them, causing bubbles of gas to squeak out of my ass cheeks like distressed mouse calls. What if they didn’t like me? What if I smelled funny, or they didn’t like what I had to offer?

Another hour later, the doors opened. Scents of sweat, cash, and inked paper wafted in. People walked up, undressing my goods with their hungry eyes. They licked or bit at their lips in seductive manners.

Excitement rippled through me in waves, leaving my cheeks flushed, knees shaking. I gulped and laid back, baring everything to them.

The Little Apple went in balls deep.

And I thoroughly enjoyed it.


My First Con

Being a vendor/artist at the Little Apple Comic Expo in Manhattan, Kansas was a fun experience, especially for it being my first time.

2017-03-18 09.32.56

Though I’m not the most socially inclined person in the world, I managed to choke down my anxiety and engage passersby. I made eye contact and smiled (if you know me, you know that’s not normal). I held conversations. I pimped my work and set a personal record for number of books sold in one day, handed out about a hundred business cards and bookmarks, hung out with other exhibitors, friends, and coworkers, and made a few new connections.

I was also interviewed for two podcasts, which is another V-Card loss for me. One was a simple sound bite, and the other was a bit more in depth. I’ll post those on my author page if they see the light of day.

But that wasn’t the entire day. In fact, I spent half of it furiously jerking at the lining of my pockets.

Image result for gif security guard jerking off at football game


My lovely wife allowed me to drag her along into the madness, and she willingly took charge of our table several hours throughout the day so my son and I could wander. It was a geek’s wet dream come true: Mainstream and indie comics, Funko Pops, action figures, keychains, stickers, glassware, videogames, original artwork, books, cosplayers, even Scentsy and Tupperware. There was also enough eye candy to fill my Spank Bank for several weeks. One particular Poison Ivy cosplayer left little to imagination!

We didn’t snap many pics, but here are a few of the cosplayers we saw and some of the swag we took home:

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Random Wrap-Up

The Little Apple Comic Expo touched me in ways I’ll never forget. It was small, homey, friendly, vibrant, exciting, and gentle. The perfect venue to pop my convention cherry at. My Human-Undead War books sold quite well, and we ended up bringing only 3 of 5 boxes back home with us in the end. I call that success.

However, the experience has left me fiendin’.


Stay tuned. There’s more randomosity – and possibly more con appearance announcements – coming soon.


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