I Ain’t Dead Yet: LACE 2017 and Book 3 Updates

Contrary to my recent lack of presence on social media, no, I ain’t dead yet.



Well, there goes my grand plan of stealing your bones…


The big black dog has been nipping at my cellulite-pocked ass cheeks for over six months now. Words have been pouring out of me as slowly as ice through a frozen hose. Time for pursuing my passion has been limited. I’ve been fighting off the future just to survive the present. But I sure as fuck ain’t dead.

In fact, I’m alive, and I’ll be able to prove it next weekend.

Little Apple Comic Expo 2017

 On Saturday, March 18, 2017, I’ll be ogling cosplayers at the Little Apple Comic Expo in Manhattan, Kansas from 10 AM to 6 PM. Oh, and I’ll be selling shit, too. What’s up for grabs? Pretty much anything which contains my work. See for yourself:

2017-01-06 17.40.06


I’ll be at Table 4, along the wall to the right of the main entrance. Just look for the blood spatter, Dexter, and you’ll find my beady shit-colored eyes staring into the crowd. (I’ll probably be drooling, too. Depends on how many legal Harley Quinns are running around in short shorts.) I’ll have a few deals going on (20% off both Human-Undead War books, for example), some swag for purchase or to give away, and I’ll also be able to take your grimy credit or debit cards so you can spend cash on those hookers you’ve lined up for later that weekend. So swing on by! More information about the con can be found here, and the map is here.


Con Man

Since this is the first comic convention I’ll have gone to, both as a guest and as a pervy gawker, I’ll be sharing my results and experience in a post shortly afterward. Also, I want to use LACE 2017 as a springboard to see if these cons are all they’re cracked up to be for us writers. I’ve heard great things: network-expanding opportunities, high sales, reviews pouring in afterward, new collaborative efforts stemming from cons, and all the eye-candy a person could ask for. I’ve also heard of total flops, abysmal sales, hate mail, and non-stop views of hairy ass-cracks.

I’m heading to LACE 2017 with only one expectation: to judge it for myself. It’ll be all about sharing my excitement for my work with nerds of higher quality.



He’ll get Best Costume for sure.


And if all goes well, or if it at least shows promise, then I’ll be signing up for Wichicon (June 2017).

Could this be the start of a genuine con man?


A Kingdom’s Fall Update

I’m still trudging along through Book 3 of The Human-Undead War trilogy. (See, I told you I was fucking slow!) I’m within 5-6 chapters of completing a first draft, and then I’ll edit the fuck out of it before sending it on to my publisher. My problem has become available time (30 minutes a day, 3 or 4 days a week) and my meticulous nature, but I assure you, it’s coming along.

Dean Samed, the brilliant artist behind the first two covers of The Human-Undead War series, has crafted another eye-catching masterpiece for A Kingdom’s Fall. In keeping with my asshole-ish ways, though, I won’t be revealing it in entirety today. Or tomorrow. Or even in the next few weeks. You’ll have to stay tuned to catch this stunner. But since I like to make blood flow to your nether regions, here’s a little teaser. Think of it as ice cubes being rubbed on your nipples, or a sad hand-job. You’re welcome.


Random Wrap-Up

Though I appear to have packed up my shit and gone to live with an inbred family in some remote mountain cave, I’m still here. I’m still reading all your petty social media rants and lurking in the corner, cock in hand.

If you’d like to see me more, cash me ousside.

Stay tuned. More randomosity coming soon.