Spooktacular Classics are dried-up chunks of word vomit which I like to regurgitate every time a Halloween Spooktacular event rolls onto the Interwebs scene.

You’ve been warned.
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Witch’s Brew

Check undulating enthusiasm at the door,
And all your boring, stupid morals, too.
Grab a strong, black, charred giant pot.
Let’s concoct delicious Witch’s Brew.

He said—she said—it was them!
1) Dump in one full cup of purple, broken tongues,
2) A pinch of festering unsightly mouth blisters,
3) And a heaping heap of steaming dung.

They will surely know it was you!
4) Dice your jagged, wrinkled pointing fingers.
5) Measure out the knife blades stuck in your back.
6) Toss in some needled poisonous stingers.

This is what I think I saw!
7) Just a pinch of the honest, brutal truth,
(But discard your misperceived reality).
8) Add an ounce of stinking liar’s juice.

I did it for your own good!
9) Crush and grind the bloody beating heart
of the one you supposedly care the most about.
10) Sprinkle in some tainted soul to make it tart.

11) Throw in a dash of dashing anger,
12) And a bit of congealed jealousy too.
13) Add a splash of overdramatic melodrama
And voila!—Thirst-quenching Witch’s Brew.